ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
