i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Randomize
