You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize