Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
