All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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