I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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