on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
You took a bar mat shot.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
