I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Randomize
