This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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