sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
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