Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
