Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
