We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
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