apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
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Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
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So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
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