Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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