Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
