just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
