Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
