Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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