There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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