He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
