living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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