so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
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