life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize