Small penises have feelings too.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
