so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize
