WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
