look no pants
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
