while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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