HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
