So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
