redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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