I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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