dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
