she looked like the bat from fern gully.
farters have to be the big spoon...
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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