youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
