Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
