Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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