and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I just want nice things and good sex
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
