there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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