we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
