Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
