oh fat girl friday strikes again...
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I forget how to act sober
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
