it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Randomize
