Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rumble strips road head = magical
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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