we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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