Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
