that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Randomize
