by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
