Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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