I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
