Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
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