yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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