# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize