Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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