I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
