i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
