tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
