i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
