did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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