The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
