she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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