He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
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When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
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I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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