What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
